When we first get into a relationship, everything seems rosy, romantic, loving and beautiful. We get smitten by our partner’s love to such an extent that we ignore the little initial red alert signs as possessiveness, protectiveness, affection or cute jealousy. No wonder that nobody can predict the future of the relationship. How it might turn out, but we all want it to be a successful and happy relationship. Small arguments, anger, and anguish are part of every relationship but when this goes beyond the limit, you have to acknowledge and accept the abusive relationship and should look forward to a solution to it.
Abuse can be of the different type it includes physical, emotional, mental, sexual or verbal. Many times it is extremely difficult to come out of such a terrible relationship because of the other person’s unwillingness. So here are few ways to come out an abusive relationship.
Recognize the Warning Signs
The first step is to acknowledge that you are in an abusive relationship. You may feel that your partner is a possessive pig, but he/she’s not that bad. You need to recognize the behavior as abusive and should be motivated to take action. The person takes charge of your earnings, wants you to ask permission for almost everything, threatens to leave, forces you to behave out of your comfort zone are few warning signs.
Financially Independent Must
If your abusive partner controls finances then the situation is much worst.Set up a secret account, find a place away from the house to hide your money may be some close friends. Don’t encourage depositing money in the joint account. Most of the people continue to stay in an abusive relationship because they are financially dependent on their partners.
Always Plan in advance
Have a safety plan with people involved including your family and friend that will let them know if you are okay at the moment or if it’s a “code red” situation. Prepare yourself in advance. Have a safety kit ready and always keep your neighbors, friends and families informed.
Many people stay in abusive relationships because they are too embarrassed to tell their friends and family and take the abuse. Majorly all the abusers behave loving and caring in public, they may feel that no one will believe them. Accept the fact that the problem won’t is solved magically, try to get help as soon as possible and unless it is too late.
Never take a ‘U’ turn
Old habits never die. Accept that your relationship has not turned out the way you would have wanted it to, but before it became your worst nightmare get out of it. If you have decided to move on, no matter how much you want, do not go back to your partner and then hope that everything will magically become fine. It is never going to be the same. Accept it and just move on.
Time Heals Everything
Once you get out of an abusive relationship it is time to begin your recovery. Get in touch with specialist and therapist who can help you come out of it. You are broken and will require help to bring your life in track. Making the decision to get out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult.
Written By: Chahat Ani
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