Like life, relationships are roller coaster rides, too. Some days are bright and sunny, while some agonizing and depressing. It is perfectly normal to have fights and arguments in relationships, this is particularly true for couples. Does that mean we should sit back and relax if we have multiple fights and disagreements as a couple? Well, the answer to this question isn’t a straight one. As a matter of fact, it is quite a tricky one. It is essential to weigh all the factors and situations before reaching any conclusion as this is a very sensitive issue. That being said, you will always receive some blatant and some not-so-obvious signs indicative of the direction in which the relationship is heading. Pay heed to these few warning signs waving at you to save your relationship and yourself from a downward spiral.
Tomorrow Never Comes
It is not unnatural to feel the need to let your friends, your family, and perhaps even colleagues know about your relationship status once you are engaged. If you would like people to meet your would-be, your partner shouldn’t have an issue with it. A clear cut sign of your partner not being serious about the relationship is procrastination. If your partner procrastinates the announcement of your relationship or engagement, this could be a warning sign. The best way to deal with this situation is to confront your partner and understand the reason for this behavior. If there isn’t a valid reason for this, reconsider your decision. People who are not serious about a relationship tend to hide their involvement and avoid all possible circumstances where their association with you is at the threat of revelation.
Meaning to Demean You
We may not be fond of each and every skill or quality a person exhibits. However, as a basic courtesy in any relationship, it is rather natural for people to avoid any discussions on their beloved’s bad qualities. If you hear your partner put you down in front of others more often than not, you know there is a serious problem. Even if there has been a humungous fight over something serious, demeaning each other especially in front of a third person is definitely not acceptable. Have a word with your partner about this. If the behavior continues, then it is likely to have a serious, negative impact on you sooner or later. Before you get into that quicksand of depression and negativity, call it quits.
Over and Above
Nothing can be more amazing than the feeling of being loved. But this exact feeling of worth and happiness can turn into a nightmare if a person steps beyond your personal space. Every person needs his or her space regardless of how much you are in love with your partner. Moreover, every individual has the right to take independent decisions. When someone starts intervening in every aspect of your life, it can get ugly. Certain primary decisions such as how you should dress up, who you should make friends with, places you should visit or not, and so on is something you need to take a call on. If your beloved wishes to intervene every single time and chooses to take a call on your behalf, it should be the warning bell for you. Take the reins back in your hands. If that doesn’t work out, you know parting ways would be the best thing to do.
Take the Hands Off
The simple litmus test for lovers in a relationship is violence or physical abuse. It is essential to understand the difference between love and the right to physically abuse a person. People often misunderstand these two. Many people do not speak up of incidences of being physically abused because they feel love gives people the right to do this. This is absolutely incorrect. Any form of physical abuse inflicted upon you by your beloved is unacceptable. If you see any signs of such a thing coming your way, just walk away. If you are expected to prove your love to your partner by accepting the physical abuse, it’s best to let the relationship RIP forever! It’s simply not worth it.
Still Holding On
It is human to err. Everyone makes mistakes and should ideally be given a second chance. Of course that depends on the gravity of the mistake. But for the not-so-grave ones, it makes sense to let things go and move on. If your beloved tends to hold on to grudges forever and finds every chance to get back at a person, you might want to give it a thought. If talking this out helps, then great. However, if the person believes an eye for an eye for even the pettiest of things, there are chances you would be at the receiving end as well sooner or later. If such signs of vengeance crop up every now and then, bidding farewell to the person would be a wise choice.
Consistence is usually considered to be a great quality, right? What if a person consistently fails to keep up with the promises made to other people including you? It is true that it is not always feasible for a person to stick to his/her words. Nasty situations can cause a person to deviate from the intended plans. But if you always end up with canceled dates, pushed outings, calls that never reach you, and texts that were never typed, it is definitely not a one-off case. Should you ignore these instances and give the person few more chances? Come on, everyone deserves a second chance! Alright, who am I kidding! Of course, you shouldn’t. If you cannot count on the person you love, it just takes away the basic essence from the relationship. You need to decide if that’s how you want it.
The Secret Admirer
Appreciation and acknowledgement are something that everyone loves to receive, and people like to gel with individuals who are encouraging and appreciative. Now, imagine the encomiums going out by your beloved only to people from the opposite sex. If this happens more often than not, it could be something to worry about. You obviously do not want to end up with insecurities all your life. Of course, if you want to play Sherlock Holmes the rest of your life, hang on to this relationship! If not, you know what you need to do.
Remember, love and care is a two-way traffic and everything in life has norms. It is fun to flout some rules now and then, provided they are harmless. Being in a relationship, too, needs people to abide by certain said and unsaid protocols. If things seem too blatant to ignore, ignorance is definitely not bliss.
Written by—Nibedita Banerjee
For more advice on relationships visit www.dhaamdhhom.in, the ultimate wedding guide!