Weddings are a time for celebration. To share in the happiness of the bride and groom, meet up with family and catch up with old friends. But, if you are single, eligible for marriage (as deemed by society) and attending a wedding, you have to navigate your way through multiple difficult and awkward situations. Not to mention physically restraining yourself from saying or doing something that you may pay for later.
Here’s a look at some of the most popular gems in this category.
“It’s Your Turn Next”
*Cue scary music* The dreaded sentence! Nothing irks you more than to know there is a silent countdown that everyone but you seems to be concerned about.
“Career Will Happen. You Only Have One Age for Marriage.”
You could have won a scholarship, received a promotion to a top executive position or even started your own entrepreneurial venture, but none of this is going to matter if you haven’t gotten married by your mid-twenties.
“You Need to Make an Effort. Simply Sitting Around Will Not Help You Find a Suitable Boy.”
Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? I assumed it would happen just like an Amazon delivery- sign for suitable boy at my doorstep. Wish you could also point out to me on a map where I can find this secret meeting place of single eligible boys. It’d save me plenty of time.
If You don’t Get Married Now, How Will You Plan a Family”
Ah yes, the threat about female fertility and child-bearing abilities. If this doesn’t want to make you grab the next eligible boy that walks past you, nothing else will. Perhaps this “well-meaning” aunty could do with some examples of women who have had babies well into their thirties.
“Why Aren’t You Getting Married? Did You Have a Failed Relationship?”
Inquisitive much? Rather than genuine concern about heartbreak, most often this question is possibly intended to provide fodder for gossiping aunties at their next kitty party or potluck.
“Is Everything Okay With Your Health?”
Single women and married women without children have been asked this several times. Because the only reason one wouldn’t be married is if there is something affecting their health. Go figure!
“Have You Tried Online Dating?”
Usually accompanied by a sympathetic head tilt to one side, it is meant as a last resort of sorts, as if to say don’t give up yet, you still have one more (less favourable) option.
“Don’t Worry. It Will Happen When You Least Expect It.”
Wait, I’m confused. Should I be searching for someone actively or just “let it happen”. Mixed signals!!
“I Know Someone Who Would Be Perfect for You.”
RUN. Run like the wind. Make an excuse. Faint. Just get away.
“Someone Else I Knew Also Had the Same Problem. Finally She Ended up Getting Married Few Months Ago.”
Not sure how this is supposed to be helpful. Perhaps it’s meant to provide hope, even though you do not believe you are utterly hopeless. Thanks for the vote of confidence?
“Don’t You Have Any Single Guy Friends?”
Yes, because everyone in the world makes a back-up plan to get married to one of their friends if they aren’t married before they hit 30.
“Maybe You Need to Take Care of Yourself a Little More.”
Translated as – You aren’t finding someone because you are too fat/ too skinny/wear too much make-up/need to wear more make-up. Since it all boils down to physical appearance in the marriage market.
“Are You Opposed to the Idea of Marriage? Does it Scare You?”
The only thing that scares me is the fact that I’m dying to launch myself at you for asking such absurd questions.
“At Least You Are Doing Well Professionally.”
Be prepared for mixed responses. While some downplay your academic or professional achievements, others will be kind enough to remind you that all is not lost, you still have a reason to wake up every morning. Even if it means waking up alone.
If you’ve successfully made it through the wedding without causing any casualties, then congratulations, you deserve a pat on your back. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Written by—Ranjana Pillai
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